Jughead's Basement Podcast

Friday, February 9, 2018

Japanese Experience: Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctor

So I had a ringing in my ears for two weeks. I went to the Japanese Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor. He sat me down and immediately started digging into my ear, performing a major excavation. There were two very cute assistance standing over me. The doctor began pulling dark wax and hair out of my ear, then he stuck two sticks up my nose. I asked one of the assistance if I looked "kawaii" That's cute in Japanese. She laughed. Then he proceeded to put a tube in my ear and blew air through my sinuses. That hurt something fierce and I did all I could not to openly cry. He poured some liquid into my ear, stuck in some cotton, and then he said some Japanese words I couldn't understand because my ears were full of liquid and cotton, and because he said them in Japanese. One of the nurses led me to a comfy chair facing a blank wall and closed a curtain. I had no idea what was going on. 20 minutes later one of the nurses came back for me, bowed, and signaled to me, by waving at herself in an upside down manner, to proceed back into the main room. She put me on a spinning chair and spun me towards the doctor. He told me to tilt my head. He pulled the cotton out of my ears, along with a nest of brown crud and goo. I glanced at the pretty nurse and she smiled. I was not looking for a date, but if I was, I don't think this would have been the right moment to ask. Then the nurse, in silence, signaled for me to follow her. She led me into another curtained area where three other people were sitting at what looked like a sterile non alcoholic bar for addicts. She stuck two tubes up my nostrils and told me to breathe, for three hours... (she meant three minutes.) Vapor was forced into my nose, and the four of us sat at the bar not looking at each other as water poured from our mouths like we were starving dogs salivating. Then one of the nurses stood me up and pointed to the exit door. I paid a woman at a counter some Yen, and then I left.

Sometimes in Japan you have the most humbling experiences. The ringing in my ears is mostly gone, so that's good. Oh by the way, I told the doctor I was in a band and I had probably lost some hearing, and he said, "Oh." That was it.

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